Dear Will - Eleven Months Old

Dear Will,

You are 11 months old and my god little man, I can hardly believe it. It feels like two minutes ago that I was dressing you in the tiny newborn sized alligator sleeper that I bought for your ride home from the hospital and wondering if there was a size smaller than newborn because your not-even-six pound body was swimming in it. That alligator sleeper is about four sizes too small now and packed away in a memory box that lives on the top shelf of your closet, and a couple of days ago I started picking out stuff for your first birthday party that we're having in about a month.

Your first birthday party. How did that sneak up on us so fast? In between my excitement over themes and the outfit you'll wear and the big cake I'm baking for you to smash is the deep longing I feel to slow time long enough to make memories of these sweet summer days when you're not really an infant anymore but not quite a toddler yet either.

Because these days are my favorite ones so far. You are getting so big, and it seems like every day you discover something new. You are happy and curious and love to learn how things work. You are pretty fearless too, which gives your daddy and me some scary moments, like when you make a run for the steps faster than we can catch you, but secretly, I love this part of you and hope that it never goes away. This is the tough part about being a parent, I'm learning. Striking the balance between making sure you're safe and giving you the freedom to explore your world. I think this will always be hard because part of me just wants to want to hold you close and keep you small forever and ever.

Last weekend we went to visit Aunt Susy, Uncle David, Grammy Reet, and your cousins. You were a tiny bit hesitant at first with all of the new people, but you got over that fast and were soon chatting up a storm, devouring the cheese curls that Aunt Susy got for you, playing with everyone, and smiling and laughing away. From my perch on the couch I watched you and I was so proud of you. You were open and thrilled to be there, in a brand new place, in the center of attention, with so many people who love you to pieces.

For some reason I can't quite grasp, this weekend was a big turning point for you. It seems impossible that you would grow up so much in just four days, but that is exactly what happened. Over four days filled with family, food, and fun you came alive. It was like you had been growing up slowly over the past eleven months, and then it happened all at once and it was jarring and fascinating all at the same time.

It seems impossible that I would forget anything about your first year, and yet there are already parts of it that have started to blur around the edges. But there are also parts of this past year that stand out in my mind, memories that are in complete focus and full color, and I already know that this past weekend will be one of those.You aren't going to remember it but I will, and so one day I'll tell you about how we went to Maryland for Memorial Day the month before you turned one and you started to say "mama," and swam in a big pool for the first time and learned to clap at exactly the right time when Grandma sang "If You're Happy and You Know It." I'll tell you about how you stayed up past your bedtime to eat grilled cheese and french fries in a restaurant and then wouldn't go to sleep and how you really got to know your great-grandma whose husband's name is now yours. I'll tell you about how you laughed when you played with Poppy's mustache and decided that everyone's reading glasses were more fun to play with than any of the toys I brought for you.

I'll tell you about how, at 11 months old, you were silly and smiley and full of fun. How you kept me on my toes and brightened up my life. How every day, you make a mom out of me.

You are such a joy, my sweet Will. Just keep on being you.

With love as big as the sky,

Mom

Previous Letters:

One Month

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months

Five Months

Six Months

Seven Months

Eight Months

Nine Months

Ten Months

(Almost) Summer Afternoons Are the Best of All

I've been a little bit absent these past couple months from these pages. There has been a lot going on and the truth is, I needed a little break, mostly to breathe and to process all the craziness and change and things that have been happening in my life. I'm not sure exactly how many different things one person can work with before it's just too much, but I'll tell you that I have come awfully close to figuring it out over the past bunch of weeks. 

But it's a brand new month now and I've shed most of the things and kept the important stuff like, you know, the growing of a baby, I have things to say and stories to tell.

But first this.

This was the first really beautiful, feels almost like summer weekend in New York. So we spent most of the weekend outside. We did some gardening (and by we did some gardening, I mean, David blew the leaves and mowed the lawn and seeded and fertilized and all that jazz while I sat on the deck with a book and a drink), we cleaned up from a freezing cold winter, and we set up out outdoor couch which has been sadly cushionless and snow covered for the past five months.

And then we spend the rest of the afternoon sitting on it, while I took pictures of my most favorite view: pretty much whatever I can see from under my giant umbrella.

Simple afternoons, the ones that remind you that summer is just around the corner, where there is sun and books and drinks and birds and nothing to do but sit and take it all in, are the best afternoons of all.

Summer's Last Nights

The last addition to the Merel outdoor summer of fun.

Tiki torches to light our way through summer's last nights.

Sometimes When It's Raining We Sit Outside Anyway

I really don't want this summer to end.

Seeing as my love of fall and winter has been well documented in these pages, that's kind of a strange thing for me to say, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Because this summer has been magic.

After a tough spring, these past three months have been exactly what I needed. Three months of good weather, family time, and reading books on my outdoor couch. Of barbecues, friends, and quiet time. Of enjoying the home that we have worked so hard to build. Of getting happy again. Of finding myself after months of feeling a little lost.

And this past weekend, we bid farewell to summer. It will still be pretty hot for the next couple of weeks, and there is plenty of outside time left before the leave fall and the first snowflakes make their appearance, but the abundance of "back to school" pictures on Facebook today tell me that the season is well and truly over.

So, you may ask how I spent the last three days of summer. I spent it at home, outside, in the living room we built on our yard; alone, with David, with family and with friends. Day and night. In sunshine and in rain.

And it was just absolutely perfect.

A Family Weekend In Pictures and Videos

Cleveland. August 2014.

Family Weekend

We're hitting the road tomorrow. Well, the sky actually. 

Early in the morning we're boarding a flight that will take us to Cleveland for our kind-of-annual August family weekend. And by kind-of-annual I mean we did it last year, and we're doing it again this year.

All eleven of us will be there, and I will spend the next five days smothering my nephew and both of my nieces with love.

There is also another Brinn family photo shoot in the works. You might remember this goodness from last year:

Well come Monday, you'll be seeing it again, although with all of us one year older and plus one baby. We think it will be fun to document whole family every summer as we keep growing and as time marches on.

And anyway, nothing says summertime like August in Cleveland, right?

I'll be back in a few days with stories, tales, and lots of pictures of the kiddos.

Stay tuned.

Summer Sunday Funday: Annual BBQ Edition

Ya know, to keep the kiddos entertained

And entertained they were. Especially when the hose came out.