I haven't.
I was seventeen.
It was a damp and grey Sunday. I was home alone. Rain was spattering on the windows as I cast about for something to do.
I turned on the TV, and then turned it off. There was nothing to watch. I opened a mystery I had started the day before, but it wouldn't hold my interest. I set it aside.
I lay back on the couch, wondering at the sluggish passage of time on quiet, rainy days.
And then it happened.
It started as an idle curiosity. Something I had heard so much about, but never experienced for myself. Today seemed as good a day as any to try something new.
Something mysterious.
I began slowly. Tentatively. Shyly almost.
But the deeper in I sank, the faster the waves of pleasure rolled. And I wondered how I had missed out on something so delicious for so long.
I thought for a minute how I should feel ashamed in some way. But I didn't.
I felt strong. I felt alive.
I lost track of time. The rain stopped. The sky darkened. But I stayed there, absorbing the wonder of this virgin outing.
Already knowing with certainty that I would return soon. And often.
As the finale drew near, I unconsciously picked up the pace. Straining for a resolution. Wishing it would never end.
I was a woman possessed.
The garage door opened. The phone rang. And rang again. I heard it all dimly, as if I was at the bottom of a pool and the sounds were coming from dry land. And I ignored it all.
I stayed on the couch.
Remained fixed in place.
Unable to move;
until the final, satisfying conclusion.
Exhausted, exhilarated, already ready to try again.
No, I'll never forget the very first time -
I read a romance novel.
This post is in honor of yesterday's 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice, the book that set the stage for my beloved romance novels of modern day.
Lady Jane, generations of women thank you.
For a different version of my first brush with romance novels, check out the very first post I ever wrote on this blog.
OMG, bravo! You totally had me going - in more ways than one. This was brilliant. Just brilliant. Writing at it's finest. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteYowzahs. You type work e-mails with those fingers?
ReplyDeleteWhoooaaaa. Maybe you should be writing your own romance novels... haha :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I have one in progress already :)
DeleteWell that was pretty H-O-T, missy! I had a feeling. P&P is one of my all time favorites. I was just talking to some friends about the first saucy book I read (which I know you've most likely read too) that started my jag. The Other Side of Midnight. I need to revisit it soon!
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, I have never read The Other Side of Midnight. But it is high on my to-read list.
DeleteI think parts of this post were in the first drafts of *Pride and Prejudice* - in Charlotte's diary.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop smiling about this and that is all I will say on the matter ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha, great job! I figured it wasn't going to be anything too sexy but still - way to draw it out!
ReplyDeleteThat was fantastic! Well done!
ReplyDeleteCool post. I couldn't figure out what it was going to be.
ReplyDeleteVery clever and well-done! You had me on the edge of my seat to find out if it was really what I thought it was :)
ReplyDeleteI really had no idea where you were going with this one!!
ReplyDeletehaha! i was waiting, with baited breath, panting, desperate with anticipation. when would it come? when? i just couldn't take it! until, finally! pow! there it was. the climax. i smiled slowly, luxuriating in the moment,appreciating how good it was. I got it and it was good.
ReplyDeletetoo much? ;)
Hahahaha no way, just the right amount. I think we need to co-write a romance novel, stat.
Deletehahahaha!!! Fantastic, Samantha.
ReplyDeleteEke!! You had me wondering where this was going! Nice!
ReplyDeleteHahaha i was assuming it was going to be about drinking wine for the first time.. :P
ReplyDeleteVery well done. I might have to start reading more romance novels. . .
ReplyDeleteYou totally should...you definitely won't be sorry, they are glorious.
DeleteVery suspenseful. I'm an addict of the romance novel too - there is nothing like spending an entire Sunday afternoon reading one from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteWhat authors do you read? After I read my first one, I got totally obsessed, and the obsession has never once gone away in thirteen years. I read from morning to night every single Saturday. it's my favorite part of the week.
DeleteLol! Awesome. You saucy minx!
ReplyDeleteWell done, caught my eye and kept me reading.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Wuthering Heights did it for me. . .
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly, I didn't love Wuthering Heights. It was a little too tragic for my tastes. I require light fun and happy endings with my romance.
DeleteFunny. You got me!
ReplyDeletelol Stinker!! I was blushing while reading this! You should try writing a romance novel.. something tells me you have a knack for it. ;) And I've never read a romance novel. Maybe you can write one and it can be MY first time. HAHA Good one!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I felt this exact same way the first time I read Hemingway. We all have our literary addictions. ;)
ReplyDeleteI knew it was going somewhere other than the obvious, but you threw me with putting down the mystery novel. Fabulous piece. :)
ReplyDeleteSo, so well done. This one curled my toes! If I smoked, I'd need a cigarette right now! Ice cream will do instead. ;-) Great work!
ReplyDeleteOh, I loved this -- so suspenseful and ultimately hilarious! Great job, chica!
ReplyDelete