Note to Self: There Is No Such Thing As a Quick Trip to Home Depot

When I get home at night, I really never know quite what I might find. Last night when I walked in the door, the first order of business, as it always is, was to head upstairs to change my clothes. I walked into my room to find that David had replaced our pillow cases with these:

We had a good laugh, and since I was in such a good mood, when David suggested a trip to Home Depot I agreed to go along for the ride. Now, ordinarily I hate that store with the fiery heat of a thousand suns, but our shower has been draining at a glacial pace and we really needed some unclogging materials. It was a nice night, and since I figured we would only be stopping in the plumbing aisle, the trip would be a quick one.

We got to the store and, since we had done some research on what exactly we needed, the plumbing necessities were dispatched with quickly. As I turned to head to the check-out, David asked me where I was going, at which point I said something along the lines of:

"Home. Dinner. Modern Family. American Idol Hometown Visits. Whatever gets me out of this dusty home-improvement hellhole fastest."

And then he said the words I fear the most every time I reluctantly step through those garish orange framed doors.

"I just need a few more things. It won't take long."

"What kinds of things?" I asked, curling my hands into fists by my side so I didn't punch anything.

"Tools."

Excellent.

It's my own fault, really. I could have stayed home while my power tool-loving man strolled the aisles, basking in the glow of his handy man's heaven. But since I decided to go along for the ride, I had to wait while he chose hammers:

Consulted on drills:

Tested the drills:

And selected a drill to join the other two drills we already have at home:

But this drill is different. Really, it is.

We also had to stroll by circular saws and wrenches, but by that point I was already delirious and probably having an asthma attack from the dusty air so I couldn't capture those aisles for posterity.

Say it with me. There is no such thing as a quick trip to Home Depot. Ever.

I'll be staying home next time, thank you very much.