I hadn't, which most likely means no wedding invitation will be coming my way.
We met on our first night of college. We shared a freshman hall and bonded over a mutual love of TV and our legacy status, both of our dads having been members of the class of 1976.
We studied and lived together. We shared meals in the dining hall and adventures in Boston together. I spent holidays at her nearby house when I couldn't make it home for one reason or another.
After graduation we moved to Manhattan together - one-half of a foursome of friends - and for that first year we blazed a trail between our respective apartments, queens of our Upper West Side neighborhood.
We settled down, I into law school and she into her dream job, but our friendship never wavered.
And when I went on the blind date that changed everything, she was the first friend I told.
The shift happened so slowly, I barely noticed it at first.
Our conversations got shorter and less frequent. I learned details about her life from another friend and was surprised she didn't tell me herself. Our once weekly Shabbat meals started to disappear, and our Saturday afternoon trips to Central Park stopped almost completely.
For a little while I quietly took the blame. David and I got very serious very fast, and I thought maybe I was replacing her with him. When I broached the subject he pointed out, rather astutely, that none of my other close friendships were suffering the same fate.
But I let it ride, trying not to worry that once a week hang outs had become once a month catch up sessions.
And a year later when I got engaged I asked her to be a bridesmaid, perhaps nostalgic about our best years. Wanting my foursome back together on my most important day. And I took in stride her absence at my engagement party and her lack of enthusiasm in my bridal shower. But when I took a minute to think, I understood.
She wasn't happy for me. Not the way a friend is supposed to be.
And for the first time, I got mad.
We went through the motions of the next months, and at my wedding I tried to put the anger aside and dance with the girl I used to know before everything changed.
But after the wedding we continued to drift, and almost three years later there is nothing left of those once forever friends except for an e-mail here and there. On birthdays. When I bought a house. When she got engaged.
I didn't get an invitation to her engagement party which most likely means no wedding invitation will be coming my way.
But I'm not mad anymore. Not really.
Now, I'm just sad.