Friday, February 22, 2013

This Life of Mine


I realize I haven't spent much time on this blog talking about how I spend my days. I mean, of course you all know by now about my early morning runsmy daily commute into Manhattan, and my addiction to TV. and you know that I'm a lawyer, but I haven't written a whole lot about my actual job. About what I do when I get to my office and sit at my desk.

Last week, as happens about four times a year, my office mailman arrived with a stack of new tax codes and regulations. These are the kinds of books that need frequent updating - you wouldn't want to dig into hours of tax research only to discover that you were using outdated codes. So when I got back to my office after a meeting, one of my chairs looked like that.

As as I sat down and started to work on a project, my gaze kept falling on that chair. And it occurred to me that anyone who walked into my office and saw those books would assume that my practice is dry, boring, and monotonous because, tax codes.

But the truth is, it is anything but.

I can't really remember a time that I didn't want to be a lawyer. I'm not sure why I decided on the law, since no one in my immediate family really practices law, but once I settled on it I never wavered. I charted my course through college with an eye towards law school, took the LSATs, filled out all the applications, and the August after I graduated, I moved into a dorm in New York City and law school began.

But even though I knew it was the law I wanted, I wasn't sure what kind. I spent my first year taking the courses that all first year students took. And even though I loved the learning - and even the studying - I wasn't wild about the subjects. Civil procedure bored me, I found contracts impossible to understand, and criminal law and constitutional law probably would have been interesting if the professors hadn't been so incredibly awful. The only classes that I really loved were legal writing and Torts. And since there is no practice called "legal writing," and I had no aspirations to put my face on a billboard advertising class action lawsuits for medical malpractice, I found myself at a bit of a loss.

And my grades reflected it. I didn't do badly my first year, but I didn't do well enough to be of any interest to the big firms that swarm law school campuses every fall to interview new second year students. And the truth is, that was fine with me. I knew that whatever path I took would be a little unconventional, and maybe a little more complicated, but I didn't mind. Complexity has never scared me.

But at the beginning of my second year, something happened. On the second day of school I found myself sitting in a class called Wills, Trusts & Estates. I registered for it because everyone said it was good for the bar exam. Most of the class was third year students who were far closer to the bar exam than I was, but the class fit into my schedule and I figured I might as well get started on those "good for the bar" classes while I had the time.

And I am forever grateful for whatever twist of fate put me in that class that most law students put off until their third year. Because I loved it, and I understood it in that deep and complex way that means whatever you are studying is right and good. It didn't hurt that the professor was fabulous - the best I had in my three years. But for the first time since law school began, I felt like maybe I had found my calling.

I ended the semester with an A+ - my first ever - and a meeting with that excellent professor who helped me chart my course for the next three semesters. During the eighteen months that followed I took classes in advanced estate planning, income tax, estate tax, family law, and various other related subjects - A's all around. And I had an internship in the trusts & estates group of one of New York's massive law firms helping the two partners with complex estate planning for some serious high net worth clients - and I was really good at it.

My career since I graduated almost five years ago has taken some interesting turns, mostly due to graduating in 2008, just a few months before the entire economy imploded, but a year and a half ago I returned to that massive law firm that gave me my first internship, this time as a full time lawyer. One of their associates was leaving the firm, and the partner I worked for during law school tracked me down and recruited me back here.

And staring at that pile of tax codes on my chair, I found myself thinking about what it is about this practice I like so much, and why pouring through those books isn't boring for me.

It's because of the stories.

In my work, my clients are people. They are men and women with kids, and parents, and relatives, and stories. I don't work for faceless companies, or defend big businesses in court. I work for families. I sit with them, and I listen to their tales, and I help them plan their estates in a way that makes their lives just a little bit easier. I work for CEOs, family business owners, stay-at-home moms and dads, authors, artists, and, one time, a 93 year old Holocaust survivor with a story I wish I could tell, because it is breathtaking. We are there for them through births, deaths, marriages and divorces. We help them through the best and the worst of what life throws their way, and, just maybe, help lighten the load a bit.

Because I love to write stories, I love to listen to stories, and I get to do that each and every day.

There are times that I dream about writing full time. About sitting at home with my keyboard and my thoughts, and devoting all of my energy to the books that I know are in my head somewhere. But right now, that is not meant to be.

I have come to understand and appreciate that this life of mine is the one I was meant to have. That the series of steps that got me here were not an accident, but rather were fated somehow.

Right now, I am meant to be here. Here at my desk, surrounded by tax codes, listening to stories, writing stories, practicing law, practicing life.

And I am happy.


14 comments:

  1. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am totally developing a blog crush on you. I hope that when I return to the work world (as long as my brain has not atrophied to the jam I always seem covered with) I am as satisfied with my profession as you are. I admire how passionate you are in all the areas of your life (including TV!)

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    1. Thank you so much! The truth is, there are days that I dream of staying home, writing full time, and exploring the creativity that I only realized I had once I started this blog. But since there are pesky things like mortgages, insurance, and cars to pay for, that's just not in the cards right now. But for now I really like where I am and what I am doing. It's been a fascinating year and a half here at this firm, and I'm looking forward to more.

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  2. So glad you have a job you love. Mine? The excitement undulates and keeps me engaged most of the time, and other times I want to die from boredom.

    I too like stories and that's why I liked this line: "Because I love to write stories, I love to listen to stories, and I get to do that each and every day." How fortunate to do that every day. I thought about being a lawyer once (I was a philosophy major in college). . . maybe it's time for a(nother) career change. . . :)

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  3. So happy to hear about your satisfaction and to get to know you better!

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  4. Wow, that was a great post. It's always so interesting what draws someone to what they do. And once you explained it, I can see how working on estates and wills would be a lot about the stories. You are dealing with people's lives. That's fabulous! I already liked you a lot, but this gives me even more of an appreciation for you :)

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  5. The best lawyers never forget their clients are people. :)

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  6. I admire your passion for your job and that you care so much. That's so important, especially in your line of work. People matter to you and that makes all the difference. Thanks for sharing your work life with us. And I'm so glad you enjoy your work as much as you do. That's a huge thing in life. It's an excellent thing to love what you do!

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  7. Yay!! you're one of the first lawyers i know who actually love their job. my husband's a lawyer too, he's not unhappy but i can't say he feels the same. good for you. i'm sure you're great at your job. when you're happy it shows. :)

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    1. There are certainly days when I don't love it, and days when I wonder if I was right to choose law at all. But in general, I enjoy my practice, and I like what I do, and I think that makes me unique among lawyers. And estate planning is definitely a different animal when it comes to the law. It is so much more people-centric, and I think that makes it easier to enjoy.

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  8. My husband ... no let me back up. My mother was technically the executor of my grandfather's estate. But when he tried to sit down with her before his death and talk about his various assets (he was a doctor - they did exist - he wasn't some rich specialist, but there was enough that he had several things going on) she basically shut down over the idea that he would die. So she and he called us up and asked my husband to be the substitute executor should Mom wish it. Of course, when my grandfather died, Mom had no desire to have any idea what to do with the money. It's not that she's dumb. It's just that she was reeling from the loss. And Scott was the natural choice because his background is in legal history. And here's the thing. (My point, finally). He loved it. He has a year of law school and a PhD in history, and he loves teaching history, and I think that he'd really love to go back and become an estate lawyer. (Which would be fine with me, but he's also practical as hell).

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    1. There are a lot of people who want to bury their heads in the sand when talking about Wills because talking about Wills inevitably means talking about death. And what makes this area so challenging, and also interesting, is trying to cut through the fear.

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  9. This is definitely not what I think of when I think 'lawyer'. I'm so glad for you that you enjoy what you do so much!

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  10. I don't know how I missed this one when you first published it! I wish I had pursued law when I was younger, but I was an idealist and went after social work (which I ultimately hated).

    Oh, how I wish I had known you (and you were already where you are now in your career!) in 2006 when my grandfather passed away, leaving half his estate in a trust for my mother, to be overseen by my brother. Someday I'll tell of THOSE fun times...

    So glad you have a career you love. Also, I had books like that for benefits: Section 125, ERISA, etc. and I found a weird sort of pleasure in researching in them. :)

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  11. I really love how well your writing flows and just manages to convey your hopes, dreams and aspirations, without focusing so much on the negatives.

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