On January 3rd, I turned thirty. I wrote a long post on that day, ruminating on all that I had lived and learned in the decade between twenty and thirty, and the ways that I had grown and changed from the time I was a college sophomore. And now, seven months into thirty, I find myself thinking about all the ways that thirty is both different - and very much the same - as twenty-nine.
This is thirty.
Thirty is three decades of living. It is the knowledge that while there is a lot behind me, there is much more - and a lot of the best things - still to come.
Thirty is finding my first gray hair and wondering how long it will be before more follow.
Thirty is three years of marriage. It is good and comfortable with the life that we are building together, but it is also being married to someone who can still surprise in the best way possible. Thirty is looking at my engagement ring daily with a smile and a warm rush of memories, but being equally thrilled at the wedding band that now serves as its mate.
Thirty is thinking about the family that we want to have, and what we want it to look like. It is realizing that we can plan all we want, but that sometimes things are out of our hands. Thirty is being ok with that.
Thirty is owning my first house in the suburbs instead of renting a tiny apartment in Manhattan. It is buying my first car. It is having big closets, a dream kitchen, a deck, and a room meant just for reading. Thirty is settling in to what will hopefully be my forever neighborhood, and joining a synagogue for the very first time. It is meeting new friends and carving a place for ourselves in a community.
Thirty is sleeping late on Saturdays, drinking iced coffee every morning, watching 30 different TV shows regularly, and reading romance novels.
Thirty is running my second half marathon with a third half and also a full on the horizon. It is a long run every Sunday on the Bronx River Pathway and short runs two days a week at sunrise. Thirty is fifteen minutes of yoga in the backyard to greet the day, and wondering if this is the year that I will finally start taking spin classes. Thirty is learning to enjoy exercise, and how to be healthy in a way that lasts forever. Thirty is knowing that I will always have to work at these things, but thirty is also knowing that it's worth it.
Thirty is finally feeling like my career has begun. It is being happy and comfortable in the job that I have and in the work that I'm doing. Thirty is working on this blog, and feeling like I have found my voice. Thirty is a deep need to write my own story and to share my words with the world. It is knowing that there is a book inside of me somewhere, and deciding that the time has come to write it.
Thirty is lucky enough to have a few friends - the soul-deep kind - who know me all the way through. Thirty is knowing that even though my parents and my sisters live far away, I have family here in New York because this is where my friends are. Thirty is knowing that we are lucky to have each other, and that we always will.
Thirty is trading e-mails, recipes, accessories, phone calls and FaceTimes with my sisters. It is being proud of them and the lives and families that they are building. It is knowing that no matter where we live, and how far away we might be, we are each other's missing pieces. Thirty is knowing that this will never change. Thirty is knowing that we only get closer as we get older, and as time marches on.
Thirty is happy.
This is thirty. I am thirty.